


Gift Horses

by Sasassy



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, Gift Giving, Uta is a little shit, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 14:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6012091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasassy/pseuds/Sasassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uta feels a sudden need to participate in Valentine's Day.</p><p>Much to everyone's annoyance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gift Horses

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from the saying about gift horses, because I'm uninspired.

Uta didn't care much about Valentine's Day. Why would he, he usually didn't have a partner to celebrate it with, he wasn't a romantic person at all and he couldn't eat the ridiculously overpriced chocolate anyway. There was nothing to gain for him from that overrated holiday.

 

Well, maybe there was one thing.

He did find the couples strolling into his shop amusing, the ones that wanted him to make masks for them to "spice up their private life" as they tended to call it. Uta didn't know what he should find more hilarious, couples trying to bring spark back to their sex lives with custom-made masks or the fact that they were exclusively human couples who had no idea they were seeking help from a ghoul and in consequence spiking his income significantly in the weeks leading up to Valentine's Day.

 

This year, however, he felt his fingers itch for some change in his routine. It took the last two weeks of January to figure out what exactly Uta seemed to subconsciously crave and when he did, he mentally reprimanded himself for it.

 

He still didn't have a partner.

 

He was still about as romantic as a documentary about penicillin.

 

He still couldn't eat the horrendously expensive chocolate, seriously why would humans pay such amounts for tiny clumps of hardened goo that tasted like excrement.

 

But there was no denying it. Uta's creative streak wanted to make Valentine's gifts and who was he to deny his crafty side anything.

 

It took less than a week to gather all the gifts he had in mind. Finding fitting ones for Itori and Renji was easy, a result from having known each other for a decade. When he placed the orders for their gifts, however, he still found himself with a weird sense of unfinished business scratching at the back of his mind. So he thought about who else he would want to spoil for this pseudo-holiday.

 

Finding a gift for Hinami was easy enough. She was still a child and blessedly undemanding, she would like about anything he could come up with.

 

Touka and Kaneki were a bit harder but Uta breezed through the preparations of their gifts like it was a mind-numbingly dull mask request.

 

The night of the Thirteenth was spend crafting little boxes for the gifts, pastel pink cardboard adorned with an intricate pattern Uta painted on himself, in a just barely darker shade of pink.

 

He chuckled quietly to himself at how ridiculous and cliché those boxes looked as he put the gifts inside the gift paper nest and carefully scribbled each name of the recipient onto the lid.

 

Uta had invited himself over to Anteiku after hours. He didn't want to get caught up in the Valentine's rush of mushy couples feeding each other sugary treats over cups of coffee almost gone cold, abandoned in favour of staring into each other’s eyes like love struck fools. No thank you, he could live without that.

 

The café was thankfully empty and the sign outside turned to _Closed_ when he arrived. He could see Touka and Nishiki cleaning up and grumping at each other while Kaneki and Hinami sat off to the side, reading a book together. Just as he entered he heard Yoshimura thanking his team for their hard work and excused himself to bed, leaving a grumbling Touka to close up for the night.

 

"Ah, good evening," Uta said with his softest voice, trying very hard to keep his anticipation hidden. He didn't want to give away that he was here for fun.

 

"Uta, what are you doing here?" Touka asked neutrally but he could see her eyes narrow just barely. So she was already suspicious. He'd have to do better.

 

"I just wanted to treat myself to the best coffee in the city, is all," he hummed and plopped down on a stool at the counter, right in front of Touka.

 

"I hope that's not what I suppose it is?" she asked, her voice growing cold and suspicious. Uta frowned but then he caught her line of side. She was eyeing his non-descript plastic bag.

 

"My, my, Touka, you're always thinking the worst of me, are you?" he said with a pleasant chuckle. She probably hadn't forgotten the last time he'd showed up uninvited with an unassuming plastic bag in his hand.

 

"Do you need a reminder why?" she asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Nishiki, who had wiped down the counter, turned around to face the coffee maker and his shoulders trembled slightly. Uta couldn't figure out who he was laughing at.

 

"Don't worry," he said placatingly, "there are no body parts in the bag this time. I promise."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Hinami and Kaneki looking up from the book they had poured over, both sets of eyes widening.

"I will show you if I get the coffee I came here for."

 

Touka sighed but she did fetch a cup and started to make his coffee. Less enthusiastic than she normally would but Uta could live with that.

 

The minutes until she was finished were spent in silence, Hinami and Kaneki having went back to their book while Nishiki disappeared in the backroom. Touka placed a steaming cup in front of Uta and went back to finishing off her work for the day. Uta played with his phone, checking the last message again. Renji had promised to be here by now but he was nowhere to be seen. He was getting restless, he wanted to finally present them with his gifts and finally see their faces.

 

"So, you came here just for coffee," Touka said as soon as she was done cleaning up and propped her elbows on the counter. She was right in front of him, leaning in closer as if she wanted to study his face.

 

Uta smiled, his face relaxed and unreadable.

"Is it so hard to believe that I just want to spend some time with my favourite people?"

 

At that every head in the room turned to look at him, Touka gaping like a fish out of water and even Nishiki poked his head back out from the other room, the shirt of his uniform untucked and unbuttoned halfway.

 

"Why are you acting so shocked? I'm a nice person," Uta said and sipped his coffee. He hummed at its heavenly taste. Not quite as he preferred but there was only one person who made it perfect.

 

"Didn't we agree that you keep your mouth shut if all you had to say was a blatant lie?"

 

Uta laughed and turned in his seat, putting on a dazzling grin that showed all of his teeth.

"Renji, you wound me."

 

Renji shrugged his shoulders in a barely noticeable way and closed the door behind him, locking it.

"Why did you ask me to come here?"

 

"Because it's a special day, Ren-chan," Uta cooed in his best imitation of Itori and he soaked up the disgusted downturn of Renji's lips at his words.

He wasn't the only one to react, though. Touka groaned exasperatedly while Nishiki, finally fully changed into his private clothes, almost stumbled over his own feet to get back into the main room, mumbling something about _not missing that_.

 

"What did you do, Uta?" Renji asked gravely and he pinched his nose with two fingers, face scrunching up as if he was in pain.

 

"I brought gifts for all of you," he announced with his relaxed grin back in place and reached for the plastic bag. He placed it on the counter so everyone could see it. "Not all of you actually," he corrected himself and looked at Nishiki. "I'm sure you do have someone else to give you something."

 

Nishiki grinned crookedly, earning a furious glare from Touka. He'd probably been bragging about the fact that he did have a valentine all day long.

"Can't say that I'm disappointed," Nishiki chuckled and propped his elbows on the counter, head put into his palm lazily. "Don't mind my presence, I'm just a silent onlooker."

 

"Nishiki, I swear to – nevermind," Touka sighed as she saw that Uta had already started to distribute the boxes in the bag.

 

There were four in total and he handed each of them one pink box, names scribbled neatly on top of the lid. They all took the box offered to them, Renji and Touka cautiously with wary frowns on their faces while Kaneki only looked confused and Hinami almost pleased.

 

She was the first to open her gift, as enthusiastic as only someone who didn’t know Uta well could, carefully folding the gift paper inside away.

"Thank you, Uta-san!" she cheered as she revealed a brand new book about teenage love and a pastel green notepad with a butterfly print for her to write down new words.

 

"Don't mention it, Hinami. I figured you are old enough to read about love by now."

 

”Thank you!” Her beaming smile seemed to get even broader.

 

The others seemed to relax a little as they took in Hinami’s innocent and actually thoughtful gift and they started to open their own boxes.

 

Kaneki went a little pale as he discovered his own book on exotic dating advice while Touka froze completely as soon as the paper wrapping was gone.

Uta cocked an eyebrow as he took in her horrified face and he was just about to ask what was wrong, when Renji’s face went through all the stages of being annoyed at a friend. He seemed to be at disbelief, on the cusp to anger.

 

”Uta...,” Renji started and stared at the box in Touka’s frozen hands. ”Did you really give a minor lingerie for Valentine’s Day?”

 

Uta frowned and peered into the box in confusion.

”Oh, silly me, I must have mixed something up here,” he chuckled and took the box from Touka before she could unfreeze her whole posture. He was tempted to tease her for the incredulous look on her face, the corners of her mouth twitching and her eyes unfocused, but he let it slide. ”Those wouldn’t be your size anyway.”

 

He turned around and quickly took the still unopened box in Renji’s hands and replaced it with the box he’d taken from Touka.

”There we go,” Uta sing-songed as he pushed the second box into Touka’s still uselessly opening and closing fingers. ”Now I should have got it right.”

Or so he hoped. If that was actually the gift intended for Itori, he would be a dead man. Killed with bare hands by his best friend. His gift was intended to be mean, but not that kind of mean. And certainly not mean to Touka.

 

”I don’t know what I expected,” Renji said, his voice devoid of all emotions. His face was completely blank as he looked down at the set of black lace underwear, stockings and garter belt.

 

”Don’t worry, Ren,” Uta said and patted his forearm gently. ”It’s your size.”

 

Uta could see crimson explode in Kaneki’s face and Hinami’s brows knitting in confusion while Nishiki sounded like he was choking on a too large bite of food.

Renji’s face didn’t even twitch.

 

”Uta, you know I can’t eat those,” Touka snapped at him as she procured a wrapped candy. ”Why would you–”

 

”It’s not chocolate, Touka,” Uta said with a wink and she shut her mouth with a bland expression. He wanted to laugh at the twin dead expressions directed at him from Renji and Touka but he actually did value his life.

 

”If it’s not chocolate–” Kaneki asked in a shaky voice and Uta could see that the embarrassed flush had drained and made way for a sickly green tinge. ”–what is it, then?”

 

“Well–“ Uta started, ready to share the recipe he had found online in a shady forum and perfected himself but Kaneki actually shook his head and raised his hands in defeat. “Okay then, my deed here is done. I hope you enjoy your gifts,” he said and got up.

 

Just as he reached the door and Nishiki’s laughter had just started to die down a little, he was stopped by a too tight grip on his wrist.

 

”I’m going to kill you,” Renji muttered out of earshot of the others.

 

”Sure, Renji,” Uta patted his forearm and leaned in closer, so it was obvious for everyone in the room that they weren’t supposed to hear what he had to say. ”But only if you wear my gift.”

 

He lingered only long enough to see the colour spreading across Renji’s cheeks before he sauntered of into the brisk night.

 

He didn’t have to be a romantic to enjoy Valentine’s Day after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> come say hello at http://thisisthelifeongallifrey.tumblr.com/


End file.
